The Way Of The Stoner

Whilst I no longer partake of the leaf (2008-2012), I have great admiration for stoner culture as being the least unhealthy form of recreational (and in many cases medicinal) substance use.

I believe that we as a global society can eventually replace alcohol as humanity’s (optional) go-to social lubricant, drastically reducing millions of pointless alcohol-related deaths each year.

Historically this naturally-occurring substance has been associated with wonderful works of creativity and humanity-uniting activities.

This is my personal lens on the archetypical, quintessential ‘stoner’ (aka Marijuanaut) lifestyle.

Waking Hours

A true stoner wakes at 4:20pm and sleeps at 4:20am - the emphasis here is placing the least strain on the body and eyes possible. At that hour many people are preparing to head home from work, so stress levels are naturally lower. Most importantly of all, these waking and sleeping hours are perfect for experiencing both sunset and sunrise, allowing a ‘magic hour’ of bowl and food preparation, leading up to Nature’s most unforgettable daily masterpiece.

The Dwelling

a true stoner dwelling must prominently feature wood-panelled surfaces, green-Grey-brown coloured rugs and furniture, and cutlery and homeware from no later than 1999. The living room must feature bean bags, a large square TV, and plenty of VHS tapes. The house has three secret passageways: one beneath the kitchen carpet, one behind the bookcase, and one behind a statue in the rest room...these three passageways meet in a special underground cushion-filled, candle-lit Stoner Shrine, where communions with the core of the earth and cosmos may be most effectively carried out. There are three egresses from this central under-house node...

The Back Garden

Must have a hammock, and a perimeter of trees, deciduous or coniferous. Must have a bird bath, and be large enough to accomodate a looping stepping stone path. A small pond is ideal, as is a granny flat at the back (essentially a smaller version of the main house). A secret passage egress is located next to the hammock.

The Front Garden

Must have a large, wise and and ancient tree, beside which is another secret passage egress. Like the back garden, the front garden is aswathe with bushes, stepping stones, and sculptures. Overgrown to the point of showing Nature's dominion, but tidy enough to show that the passage way to the house proper is well-maintained.

The Underground Passages

As mentioned above, the under-house nexus cave - candle-lit, yet with a fully featured ensuite beneath - itself hides a further passage that leads deep beneath the earth...

The Basement Nook That Leads Ever Downwards...

To The Portal Beyond...

To Core Of Caladan...

And Even Further...To The Inner Realm Of Infinite Self & Nature